Chambon lake by Sarah Martinet on 500px

If only I can find the inner peace and stillness as the water in this photo….I have been so mentally and emotionally beat up these past couple of days it is a wonder I even want to get out of bed in the mornings. I try to “pre-pave” before going to sleep but I am so exhausted by the time I finally get to bed that I almost instantly fall into a restless sleep and before I am fully awake the pressure of “what-is’ already floods my thoughts starting my day with fear and anxiety before I can re-direct the flow and not allow that steam-roller of momentum to build up to ramming speed so early in the morning….

My current but yet to be implemented plan of attack is to along with my “The PLAN” entries which I still have not yet been able to include into my daily routine on a s consistent basis, is in parallel write an entry as if talking about my ideal day as if that was how my day went and the ideal events happening. Yes, it is and will be a stretch to write about my Ideal day as if it were occurring from where I am but if I can at least make the time and effort to make an entry a day AND “see” past “what-is” long enough to write about my day as I desire it to happen that will be that much less time spent on seeing and thinking about and giving attention to “what-is”…I figure I already find myself thinking I wish I had time to do this or money to go there or had the leisure time that both my mind and body are crying for, then if I can grab hold of those random thoughts and build them into writing and thinking about and mentally and emotionally “Living” my Ideal day then one day I will “wake up” to see that I am living my Ideal Day!

North Star by Anita Nicholson on 500px

The past couple of days seem like a blur of activity, “what-is” and exhaustion and frustration…for a little over a week now I have been good about instead of starting my morning mindlessly playing Temple Run 2 during my morning constitution, I have instead been writing thoughts in my private journal. Granted most is about “what-is”, some about what I dreamed (if I remembered) and some about whatever happens to be to current dominant thought. BUT I know that also at some time during the day I need to STOP, pull myself out of the hamster wheel and write in my “The PLAN” journal about how I desire my life to be as if it were already now! I am not a morning person so morning is not the best time to do this but then once I get going into the day and night it does get challenging to separate myself from the hamster wheel and “what-is”….which is apparent from how many days have passed since my last post here. But I know SOURCE is out there just like the beacon in the above photo which I felt appropriate for this post and I know the less attention I give “what-is” and the more I focus on what is DESIRED then that become will grow brighter and brighter and the “pull and call” of SOURCE will become stronger and stronger and will fell life and ALIVE again!

Way of Love by Sebdows Photography on 500px

All day today there has been an ever increasing “longing” feeling in my heart…and nothing that I have been able to do has been able to take my mind off of it, its been getting so strong that I have not even been able to focus on work or working. So I wrote about other things in my journal thinking maybe it was the lack of other things that was the root source to the longing….BUT while attempting to get lunch and turning on the 24×7 Comedy channel on iHeart radio hoping some humor would help me mood I start receiving messages on ALL Hailing Frequencies and now know the TRUE source of the ever increasing longing feelings…my son has been and is asking for his daddy! Then my heart cried out across the miles to try comfort my son while his daddy was feeling the sadness of not (yet) having the financial means of returning to Rio de Janeiro to Play, Have Fun, and Be Happy together with my son. Every day, when I make a video message for my son, I always end it with telling him “To Play, Have Fun, and Be Happy” that that was his job for daddy until the day daddy returns and we both can Play, Have Fun and Be Happy! Now, along with this longing, which now the source is know, I am fighting an internal emotion and mental battle…the one side that is still “trapped” in the momentum of “What-Is” is only focusing on all of the financial blocks and obstacles that have kept me apart from my son for over two years now, way, WAY too long to be apart from my Little Man….but then there is a part of me that says turn this “Longing to be with my son to comfort his calling for and needing his daddy” to “Feeling, Living and Breathing ALREADY being with my son to comfort his calling and needing his daddy”. That same feeling as if he is just home anxious for daddy to get home from work and not dwell on the thousands of miles and dollars currently keeping us apart….being and working as an Electronics Technician I know about the function of a circuit called an “Inverter”. The purpose of this circuit is to “invert” whatever signal is fed into it…if the signal is positive or a digital “1”, the output is negative or a Digital “0” and vice versa….so now there is a need for a “Spiritual” inverter to help turn the energy of “longing” into energy needed to feed Faith, Belief in the Already Having and seeing me already with my son in my arms telling him daddy is here……

Go Home! by Choat Photographer on 500px

You know, when you wake up with a stomach ache from too much stress and then see a commercial that makes me think much about and miss my son so much that brings tears to my eyes and see that Winter decided  to make a return visit yet again…makes for a vibrationally challenging start of the day…but doing my best to find something to help smooth off the rough vibrational edges and calm myself and the stress enough for the stomach to settle down and use images like above to help take the focus off  of “what-is” and try to feel that much needed virtual HUG from Source to reassure that ALL will be made right according to my RIGHT vibration….and that all of THIS is just a reflection of when I am now, and NOT who I AM…..