Posted by Arthur
As much as I get to write here, maybe it should be “weekly” thoughts….just being funny but also feeling much frustration…more and more demands being made of me and my time and then made to feel guilty when I need time to take a break or BREATHE for a moment. I am kept going so much that I literally have forgotten how to relax or what it means to have leisure time. I am actually surprised that I am being left alone long enough to get this far…now if only I could be allowed this small window of time for myself every day. Even my walks are getting intruded into more and more, which cancels the calming benefit I some times get from walking.
It is amazing and sad how certain people demand much of me and my time and resources and expect me to be there 24×7 for them YET I am not allowed to ask the same of them, a quick to get defensive about it…so this just serves as an additional reminder that I only need be concerned about ME and my son…I cannot afford to continue wasting time, effort, energy, about others if they are only going to “feed” on me and try to sit back and enjoy the ride but never take their turn at driving….
Needless to say not much has been done or accomplished since my last entry here, stress, exhaustion and work demands and our “friend” “What-Is” continue to find creative ways to continue consuming my time, energy and money and keeping me always tired and always needing money….Have not yet found “something” that I can focus on the help me “feel better / good” and get into that correct vibration so that at least some of all that i desire to manifest can flow to me. Every now and then there will be something that either helps my mood or does a good job at taking my mind off of “what-is” but that something doesn’t work the second time around….thus I have to continue find new things to focus on….
Have gone back to falling asleep and sleeping through the night listening to subliminals and some nights when there is a good topic/subject listen to the Law of Attraction Radio Network at night also. Any thing to help me rest better and pre-pave for a better day…only to wake up and find that the power went out during the night so my alarm clock did not go off so now I am late for work and rushing around trying to get all my Radio Reference Feeds back online since the computers shutdown from the power outage and then finally get on the road to work only to find the streets are closed and morning traffic is being detoured around so now a longer morning commute….and then during that commute getting messages from a friend that says she is sick and sending me photos of how sick she looks asking me for money to go to the doctor as if I was able to magically “crap” money since the last time I told her I have no money to give her… not a good job of pre-paving this morning, but I know it and will always be a work in progress and can’t allow these shortcomings to frustrate me but to get more determined and focused on the life I so much deserve and desire for my son….just got to find ways to pull time back from”what-is” and give it back to ME…..and now work calls to me andmy atention back to it yet again…..