Monthly Archives: June 2015
It was not so much the photo as was the subject (name) of the photo that caught my attention….because many days as I continue others living happy and prosperous lives and enjoying life I ask when will it be my turn and when will the light again shine in my life? I have found it progressively more difficult and challenging to “see” and “feel” what I desire and the life I want to be living and enjoying and feel more and more alone these days. Granted being free of the “dead weight” of the financial and emotional leeches have lightened my load but still feel the affects of their exhausting me of my resources leaving little to nothing left for me. I have been so caught up in working and working and working more to make extra money (in fact now have less money) that I have been doing little to none of the spiritual “work” that I should be doing. I keep the books out in the open as a daily and constant reminder for what I need and should be doing, but s exhausted from the daily battles with “what-is” that I have nothing left to give time for “me” but I know this needs to changes otherwise I will only continue down this path and years from now writing the same words and complaints again…(I have already seen this in my private journaling where I get reminders of what I wrote a year ago today and depressingly see that I was writing about and complaining about the same circumstances, problems and people – so have evidence of the cycle I am “stuck” in). Now if only the time and effort writing about what is wrong in my life could be redirected to writing about the life i desire it to be as if it were already happening now….I have even entertained the idea of writing my own The Secret Success Story now to help bring more focus and attention to what I desire, want and need to hopefully wake up one day and “see” that i am already living the success story that I wrote….
The past several weeks have been interesting as I have found that obviously a vibrational change is taking place, not sure if in the correct direction or not….yet…but I have found a lot of “dead-weight” individuals have been removed from my life. And they happened pretty much in a short time of each other and where before I would have been a little upset, now I just laugh it off because I have been pushed very close to that point of “I don’t care anymore” and surprisingly this has been liberating (to a degree) as now other’s actions (or lack thereof) do not upset me as much or at all as used to be. Now I still have to “care” about ME and not be included in that “I do not care anymore” mode. But still a very long way to go as I have been finding more and more how much I have unintentionally let go with regards to ME and my spiritual growth because I was given so much attention to “Them” (aka the dead weight) because they constantly demanded me and my attention to “Them” and make them feel good and happy and give and give and give and even when I did not have to give they still begged me to give what I did not have….which only fed more and more into the feelings of lack! But as each one of “Them” has dropped off the radar and the current disk that I find myself on that has started freeing me to have a little more left for ME!